DIVORCE AND CHILDREN Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1000 words

DIVORCE AND CHILDREN - Essay Example Divorce is already commonplace in the United States. This is the case across all relevant demographics: regardless of the social class, age, religion and ethnic membership, divorce is prevalent. For example, recent estimates reveal that between 40 percent and 50 percent of recent first marriages are likely to end in divorce (Lamanna and Riedmann, 474). Statistics also paint a grim scenario. In 2009, the Census Bureau reported that the marriage rate in America is 7.5 marriages per 1000 people and the divorce rate is 3.6 per 1000 people (Andersen and Taylor, p.326). The high incidence of divorce highlights the degree of impact on all parties involved as well as the society in general. Because the experience involved is recognized as painful and difficult. The adults – the husband and wife – undergoing this process encounter tremendous stress and pressure. An expert on the subject explained that this is a commonality across all divorcing partners. The story, wrote Antunes, often went like this: After months or sometimes years of discussions, hurtful arguments, destructive behavior, indifference, tears, betrayals, false hopes, starting over, forgiving, counseling, praying and doing everything we can think of in order to â€Å"fix† our marriages, we arrived at the Crushing yet defining moment when we knew our relationships were over (ix). If the process is an ordeal for the husband and wife, one can only imagine the toll it will claim on their children. As depicted in the above account, divorce seemed like a battle and children are most assuredly caught in the crossfire. This is one of the most compelling reasons why divorce can be considered bad. It adversely affects the hapless children. Adverse Effects on Children It is common sense to claim that there are only rare cases when children do not feel sad about their parents’ divorce. The fact is that they are often torn by conflicting loyalties: who should they side with in the conflict? In addition, feelings of fear, loss and anger are also common, along with desires for reconciliation (Andersen and Taylor, 327). The psychological impact of losing parents to this process is significant. In the short term, children experience feelings of confusion as well as the feeling of being betrayed as they helplessly witness how their family unravel and torn apart before their eyes (Clarke-Stewart and Brentano, 106). Also, as their parents tangle between themselves and embroiled in their own troubles, children are also in danger of being neglected. Because of these variables, children’s lives are negatively affected in the long term. For instance, a study revealed that 70 percent of children living with divorced parents had lower levels of well-being in comparison with children raised in intact families (Clarke-Stewart and Brentano, 106). In addition, these children can also display violent and antisocial behaviors especially when the divorce is typified by high conflict. Poor performance in school and poor adjustment skills are also accepted outcomes especially when research indicates that families on the verge of breakup have been found to be typified by â€Å"less intimate interparental and parent-child relationships, less parental commitment to children’s education, and fewer economic and human resources, resulting in more academi c, psychological and behavioral problems† (Goldstein, 197). So, all in all, the process for divorce is a crisis for children. This is critical because there are just numerous variables involved and that these tend to accumulate, leading to a much bigger problem, amplifying the estimated severity and pathology of psychological and emotional disturbance, changing the children’s behavior and character in the process. It is important to note that children are created by society. Morton explained this circumstance when he argued that â€Å"children are assigned to social groups by lottery† and that â€Å"once they are in a group, they remain there for life†. These arguments are aligned with the philosophical school